Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
