i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
My balls are so social today.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
