well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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