it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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