The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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