...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
