I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i want to swaddle you in tequila
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
