if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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