And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
