People with herpes should wear stickers.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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