Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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