well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
