Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
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