i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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