she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
