remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize