I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
