I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
