oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
