WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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