Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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