now i know why i became what i already was.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Damn victory sex feels great
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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