i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Randomize