that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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