so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
