we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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