when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
