its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
