the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
