just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I take back everything I said about communal showers
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
