Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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