Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
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