Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
