hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
