Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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