LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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