Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
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The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
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Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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