And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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