I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
