My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
