at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My liver just broke up with me...
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
