she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
