Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
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