So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
