I think I died a long time ago.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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