I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
