Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
its not stalking. its research.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
