? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
