I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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