I cockslap morals
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
