careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
