If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
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