I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
worst night to have a conscience
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
