I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize