Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
