My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Even my vagina gasped.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
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