We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Randomize
