You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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