So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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