at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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