You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
