i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
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You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
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My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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