Whod you bang
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
