kristin has been a bad kristin
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
