Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
