i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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