He kissed a someone with a penis
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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